Books hold so much potential, they can breath into us thoughts and feeling we didn’t know we could have. Open doors that we thought were wood panelled bookcases..and sometimes this is exactly where we want to be, its what drives us to read. The ability to have our eyes opened to other points of view, to have our empathy muscle worked , to be inspired to go farther, to be ignited with a desire to be more. I have had some of the most profound life changing thoughts spawned on by books.However sometime this can have the adverse affect on me, and I want to talk about that.
I picked up a book that had great reviews, and it was a very good book. It kind of gave you that “fly on the wall” feeling that you were able to live in someone else shoes for a while. However, the negative side of that is it unlocked a whole flood of thoughts about my own life, and adventures I want to go on, and jobs I want to have, and skills I want to use….which you’re probably says “Great, what’s the issue?”.
Here is the issue…for me it was a breeding ground for discontentedness. It flipped on the panic lights, and propelled me to flip through all the handbooks and how-to’s for my life, that up until now I had accepted, that although I am good at things, they are the things that are appreciated and benefit a small group of people…like super small…. like 6 others and a dog and a cat…and up until a week ago I had accepted that even though I have creative gifts and dreams that they are a dime a dozen in the world. So many people want to be heard, they want to write, act, paint, etc…they want to be able to be rewarded for their gifts, mind, ideas….they want to be appreciated and sought out for those gifts. Real talk…I want that too…but I also am content to be where I am to have the ability to type out a few words here and there and have my friends and family appreciate them…but this book was beginning to unravel the contentment.
I had to step away, I had to have the talk with the book “It’s not you, it’s me”. I tried to let her down easy, “I don’t think I am in a place where it is the best use of my time to introduce the ideas of being a freelance writer, traveling to Italy. Yes, Yes,” I’d said “Of course you’re right I would go with my husband so I could subtract all that relationship stuff”, but it wasn’t that she had left her relationship that shook my foundation… its the awaking in me of wanting to do more, to be more, to have a marketable skill that ALSO was a passion, one that people would PAY for. It begin to nestle down into the core of me, and I started to think that what I have accomplished wasn’t quite good enough……I felt restless and teetered on feeling like I had not taken full advantage of my life….All LIES! So I had to break up with this book for now.
I tell you all of this for a couple of reasons:
*First, It is totally ok to break up with a book, for any reason. Not every book is a good fit, and not every book is the right book at the right time. Be discerning with your reading life, books hold a great power that not many truly understand. They can build us up and they can tear us down, they can stoke the fire, or complete extinguish it. You hold that power in the palm of your hand so use it wisely.
* Second, wherever you are whatever your dreams are keep at em, but also know dreams don’t mean what you’ve accomplished isn’t valuable. Have hope that goes beyond where you are, whether they are obtainable or not doesn’t mean you have failed in some capacity. The place that you are standing … that place RIGHT NOW… is vital to the next step…and the one after that and the one after that… Do you get me? Whether we go down in the history of thousands , or merely one the reality is we will make history, we will be remembered and we must write the story we are living RIGHT NOW.